Being 65 now it is always interesting to go back in time to remember what you can in your childhood. I remember being to old for my crib but my parents waited to replace the crib. One Christmas I remember climbing out of my crib and going to the Christmas tree to see all the wonder that developed over the night while I was asleep. There was a Red tricycle siting by the tree. The next morning I remember getting on my new tricycle and riding it up and down the street. I also remember when my father owned a auto repair shop and we could see it out of our apartment window. Sitting and waiting for dad to come home.

When I was in 4th grade I was very attracted to boys but being a boy myself I knew that this was probably not right since back in those days there was no mention of GAY anything. I would be alone in my bedroom and fantasize about some of the boys. Yes I was young but those thoughts aroused me and I was really careful in my room not to get caught. I would fantasize 2 to 3 times daily when ever I could. Could not get those thoughts out of my mind. Back then gay was not talked about so I had no idea about what I was feeling. I kept it a secret and otherwise felt normal like all the other kids.

In 5th grade is when there was some experimental experiences. One boy Gary and I would go to his bedroom which was down stairs in the basement. He shared that room with his older brother and there was a bunkbed there.We were on the top bunk and started to touch each other. We both wanted to do different things so nothing really happened. I will be mentioning Gary in a later chapter.

There were a lot of boys in the neighborhood and have played with about 5 of them in different ways. Nothing really serious but everything was all about boy to boy excitement.

The thing is, when you are in 6th grade there aren’t many girls around for boys our age to fool around with but there were a lot of other boys our age so we had plenty of company. We would have sleepovers at each other houses and talk about things like sex and what we liked to do or wanted to try out one day.

I remember one night a few of us were lying in our sleeping bags talking about sexual things and someone asked me if I touched myself. At first I was reluctant to answer but then I realized that everyone else was doing it so I might as well tell the truth. So, yes, I admitted that I touched myself all the time. This opened up a whole new conversation and before long we were all touching ourselves while we talked about what we would like to do with girls when we finally got the chance.

In 7th and 8th grade we had gym class and had a coach that would make all of us shower after class. He would stand at the shower watching all the naked boys showering and would also watch us getting dressed in the locker room.

I had about 3 guys right near my locker who would change next to me. They made me excited. Loved seeing them naked and will never forget that feeling I had then. That was the best part of gym class. But the one that I still think is so great looking was George B. , he was also very nice and I have never forgotten him after all these years.

So you see we all have different experiences while growing up and some are just experimental and others are your real feelings that make up who you are and who you will become. Do not be ashamed of things you have done when you were young, it’s all part of growing up and becoming YOU.

Next chapter will be my high school years and me finding who I really am. Yes life can be confusing but we all journey threw the younger years and grow along the way to become who we are.

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